Saturday, January 15, 2011

Truly a remarkable woman

I am so very sorry to hear of Joy's death, and send my sincerest condolences to you and your sister and your families. It was also quite a shock. We had only seen her here in the fall in Toronto and although she was a tired a little more often than previously, she looked so well and her spirits were so positive and upbeat as usual.  And then on Dec 15, just before Xmas I received an e mail from her telling me how enthusiastic she was about the upcoming family cruise to celebrate her 80th (I hope it took place) and about a new treatment that she was about to embark on. I guess one is never ready for such news about someone you care about, but it seemed much too sudden and too early for the end of such a vibrant life.
      

Your Mother and I met about 8 years ago in San Miguel de Allende shortly after the death of both our husbands, who coincidently had passed away within weeks of one another.  It was on a field trip sponsered by Mujeres en Cambio and Joy came and sat next to me and began talking.  We discovered that a) we had a great deal in common.  Both of us had had musical careers , (although mine as a  classical painist was not nearly as glamourous as Joy's opera and Holloywood gigs) which we had given up when our children were young and when handling the demands of a young family and a husband whose career was on the rise, and homes and cottages etc etc just became too overwhelming.  We also discovered that we both had extraordinary husbands, stars in their field with whom we had wonderful but not always easy marriages, and whom we both missed a lot.  And we both had homes in San Miguel, that we were unsure if we really wanted now that our husbands were gone.  


We also discovered that we liked each other a great deal.  I loved Joy's sense of humour, her beautiful laugh, her humbleness, and her shining intelligence and common sense which made discussions with her such fun. Of course she was beautiful outside as well - a completely lovely woman that I adored.  Visiting her in Bovina was  memorable and we had planned to do it again this spring.  In addition to everything else, she was the consumate hostess who had all our meals prepared and activities (opera in Coopertown etc ) organized as if she had a staff of dozens.  
      
I know you will all miss her enormously.  She spoke of you and Kim and your families and her wonderful daughter in law (great cook) and son in law often often and never failed to ask about the activities of my three daughters and their families whom she had met. She was truly a remarkable woman.  
      

I will be in San Miguel for 2 weeks on March 19th of this year, at which time I will make a donation to Mujeres en Cambio in Joy's memory.  If there is anything I can do for you while I am down there please just e mail me.  And if you ever find yourself in Toronto I would be so pleased to meet you and your family at any time.  I feel so very honoured to have known your Mother and only wish our friendship could have been longer.
 

Warmest regards ,  
In sympathy        
Joan Zarry

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